What happened on October 25th/26th

In the 24 hours that were 10/25 and 10/26:
I spent 4.5 of them on a bus. 
I spent 10 of them on the pavement in new york, alternating between elation and uncontrollable excitement, between being freezing and being uncomfortably damp.
One of those hours consisted of me making a sign that read "today is flawless, I won't ever let it go."
One of those hours consisted of me sleeping.
The 3 hours after that were spent smashed in a crowd full of inconveniently tall people with very large signs and annoyingly long camera arms. 
They were spent praying for a glimpse of the girl I had driven 225 miles to see. 
But they were also spent rejoicing in the feeling of being near her, even if all I could see was the top of her hair, and one tiny glimpse of a smile.
But still,
The hours that followed were spent in disappointed tears, confusion at the unfairness of the world. 
In all honesty, many hours since then included an unwanted guest appearance from my tears.
Another 4.5 of these hours were spent on another bus listening to an album that had, just a day before, brought an instant smile to my face, but now suddenly caused me pain to listen to.
But near the end of those 4.5 hours, something began to change. The tears didn't stop, but their source shifted.
In that last .5 of an hour I realized that it didn't matter if all I'd seen of the girl who I love and respect most in the world was the top of her blond head and a swish of her sparkly dress.
What mattered was that I'd been there. I'd heard her sing and I'd screamed out the words like everyone else.
It wasn't exactly the flawless day I expected, but in the end, it still sparkled.


That's the publicity version.
What really happened is that there I was, in the middle of a crowd of fans, and I was sobbing. 
I just stood there and I cried.
Then I waited for her to come sign autographs.
She didn't come. I caught a glimpse of her as she went inside.
I left.
I called my mom, and I cried even more.
I sat in silence for the 4.5 hours back to Boston with a tissue in hand and fought back the tears that would materialize every few minutes.
I got back to my dorm and I didn't talk to anyone.
I couldn't listen to my favorite artist in the world for weeks because I would tear up every time.
It took me 2 months before I could listen to "Mine" without breaking down.
But slowly, very slowly, I healed.
I reintroduced myself to the songs. I rewatched some vlogs.
I only just watched her Thanksgiving special today. It was the first time I've felt ready.
I still can't watch videos from her Today Show performance.


I never thought this experience would turn out like this, but that is what happened.
Even though I still feel pain, I've realized now that I am thankful that I was able to be there. I got to be part of her album release, and that's really important. I know I'll be thankful for that in the future. 


So that's me.
Speaking Now. 


<3

speak now.

I am incredibly, indescribably happy in this moment.

Thank you so much to everyone who came on this journey with me.

In the coming days you'll find out my super secret adventure relating to the album, but you'll have to wait for that.

This is amazing. I can't stop smiling.

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
--Maya 

13!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously this is an exciting day.

There's only 13 days left until Speak Now.

And everyone knows 13 is Taylor's good luck charm.

So that's pretty darn exciting.

In other pretty darn exciting news, Back to December came out last night. 

It's absolutely beautiful.

And on top of that, it's incredibly personal, and shows a big change in Taylor in that she's apologizing in a song for the first time.

All of her breakup songs to date have been her blaming the other person, but not this time. 

This time she's laying all of it out there and apologizing for everything she did to this mysterious man.

Well actually, he's not so mysterious.

In case you haven't figured it out already, the subject of this wonderful song is none other than Jacob Black himself, Taylor Lautner. 

And I'm going to prove it.

(To avoid confusion, from now on Taylor Swift will be referred to as TS and Taylor Lautner as TL). 

1. The song is called Back to December, and generally says that TS wants to go "back to december" so she can change what happened. On TS's birthday, December 13th, TL flew to Nashville to celebrate with her. This scared TS (she has admitted commitment issues and problems with "running away from love" during her live webchat in mid-July) and she broke up with TL at or around her birthday party.

2. She refers to the subject's birthday passing and her not calling. TL's birthday is February 11th, just 2 months after hers, making it make sense both that the breakup would be too new for her to call, and it fits  in with the time scheme. 

3. "I think of that summer all the beautiful times"--"Valentine's Day", the movie they were both in, was filmed in the summer of 2009. This is where they met and was the start of their relationship. 

4. "I watched you laughin' from the passenger's side" (see photo above)

5. "Realized I loved you in the fall"--Their relationship lasted from near the end of the summer until December, so the fall would have been right in the middle of it. 

6. In an Us Weekly article (here: Us Weekly) they stated that TL felt he was putting more into the relationship than TS was and that "He liked her more than she liked him". This is echoed in the last few lines of the first verse: "'Cause the last time you saw me/Is still burned in the back of your mind/You gave me roses and I left them there to die". 

7. This may seem trivial, but TS states that she misses the subject's "tan skin". This may not seem important, but regard the photo lineup of TS's past and present boyfriends: 

(One of these things is not like the other...)

Sorry to end with the weird tan skin one, but those are my reasons that make me suspect that Mr. Lautner may be the subject of this song.
I love knowing this because it's like having an inside view on Taylor's life. There's something nice about reading a tabloid article and being able to absolutely know that what they're saying is not true.
The song is beautiful, honest, and wonderfully written as always. It's so brave of her to put all of this out there to the world knowing that some random girl like me can figure it out and suddenly have such a personal view on her life.
I can't wait to see if it makes a difference in TS's and TL's relationship.
I also can't wait to see it live. That will be amazing.

(Is it bad that I'm super proud of myself for this? Maybe a little)

That's all for today.

13 DAYS!

lovelovelove
--Maya 




P.S. Here is a picture that Taylor took of herself one morning before her hair and makeup were done:

 <3

20.

speak now is perfect.

<3

24!

Hi!

So there's only 24 days left. Can you believe it?

Because I can't.

At all.

AHHHHH SO EXCITED!

Speaking of AHHHHH SO EXCITED, on October 5th, which is Tuesday, the song Speak Now from the album is being released!

I absolutely cannot wait to hear it.

Taylor's also going to be releasing 2 other songs from the album in the weeks leading up to the release:

Back to December on October 12th

and

Mean on October 19th

I am so happy and excited that this whole process is starting again.

I can't wait for the album to be out and for Taylor to go on tour again.

This is my favorite time ever. 

<3

On that note, here is the "essay" I wrote for the Speak Now with Taylor Swift contest.

It had to be 40 words or less, and had to show them (her record label) why I should be the one to go with her to New York for the album release, and then to LA.

So, here it is:

it started (on august 4th) with a text. 

then came the jumping and screaming.

then 5 notes, a smile. 

the feeling that nothing could ever compare 

to this moment,

and the incomparable joy, the pure elation

for what’s to come.

It's about the day Mine came out early.

Truly one of the best days of my life.

Ok, I think that's all for now.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

lovelovelove

--Maya 

29!

It's down to the twenties.
Kindof unbelievable, right?
I mean, we're sort of in the home stretch.

This is really exciting.
I'm excited.
Can you tell?
Probably not.

Anyways, this post today is going to be a bit off topic.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.

It's just I have on particular thing on my mind, and it's all I can think to write about.
CMT is running a contest to meet Taylor.
But not just meet her.
If you win, you get to go to New York and go to her album release.
Then, you fly WITH HER to Los Angeles (as in on the same plane) and go to another of her events in there.
I honestly cannot imagine anything that would be a more amazing experience than this.

But here's the thing. It's an essay contest.
Now, this wouldn't be a problem, except for the word limit for this so-called "essay" is 40 words.
That's like 2.5 sentences.
How the heck am I supposed to express in 40 words that this trip would fulfill every single dream I've ever had?
I have no idea.
Oh, and I have 4 days to come up with something. (The deadline is October 1st)

So that's what's on my mind. I'm going to go try and write that essay now.

Talk to you soon.

lovelovelove
--Maya 

so. excited.

p.s.
this just blew my mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmrjli8hgH0

32.

I'M A TERRIBLE BLOGGER.

I'M SO SORRY.

I hate to make excuses, but here is what is going on.

I am in college, and I am taking lots of classes. Specifically, lots of science classes. And all of those science classes had tests this week.

So that is why my darling Speak Now Project has been so neglected.

BUT IN OTHER NEWS,

it's almost a month until Speak Now! AHHHHH!

This makes my heart happy.

I promise I'll do a real post soon.

I promise.

But now I have to go write up a chemistry lab.

Two more things:

1. Fearless just came on shuffle on my iPod. <3

2. This is the track list of what is soon to become my new favorite album:

1. Mine 

2. Sparks Fly 

3. Back to December 

4. Speak Now 

5. Dear John 

6. Mean 

7. The Story of Us 

8. Never Grow Up 

9. Enchanted 

10. Better Than Revenge 

11. Innocent 

12. Haunted 

13. Last Kiss 

14. Long Live

Yay.

Talk to you soon. I promise. Really.

lovelovelove

--Maya