What happened on October 25th/26th

In the 24 hours that were 10/25 and 10/26:
I spent 4.5 of them on a bus. 
I spent 10 of them on the pavement in new york, alternating between elation and uncontrollable excitement, between being freezing and being uncomfortably damp.
One of those hours consisted of me making a sign that read "today is flawless, I won't ever let it go."
One of those hours consisted of me sleeping.
The 3 hours after that were spent smashed in a crowd full of inconveniently tall people with very large signs and annoyingly long camera arms. 
They were spent praying for a glimpse of the girl I had driven 225 miles to see. 
But they were also spent rejoicing in the feeling of being near her, even if all I could see was the top of her hair, and one tiny glimpse of a smile.
But still,
The hours that followed were spent in disappointed tears, confusion at the unfairness of the world. 
In all honesty, many hours since then included an unwanted guest appearance from my tears.
Another 4.5 of these hours were spent on another bus listening to an album that had, just a day before, brought an instant smile to my face, but now suddenly caused me pain to listen to.
But near the end of those 4.5 hours, something began to change. The tears didn't stop, but their source shifted.
In that last .5 of an hour I realized that it didn't matter if all I'd seen of the girl who I love and respect most in the world was the top of her blond head and a swish of her sparkly dress.
What mattered was that I'd been there. I'd heard her sing and I'd screamed out the words like everyone else.
It wasn't exactly the flawless day I expected, but in the end, it still sparkled.


That's the publicity version.
What really happened is that there I was, in the middle of a crowd of fans, and I was sobbing. 
I just stood there and I cried.
Then I waited for her to come sign autographs.
She didn't come. I caught a glimpse of her as she went inside.
I left.
I called my mom, and I cried even more.
I sat in silence for the 4.5 hours back to Boston with a tissue in hand and fought back the tears that would materialize every few minutes.
I got back to my dorm and I didn't talk to anyone.
I couldn't listen to my favorite artist in the world for weeks because I would tear up every time.
It took me 2 months before I could listen to "Mine" without breaking down.
But slowly, very slowly, I healed.
I reintroduced myself to the songs. I rewatched some vlogs.
I only just watched her Thanksgiving special today. It was the first time I've felt ready.
I still can't watch videos from her Today Show performance.


I never thought this experience would turn out like this, but that is what happened.
Even though I still feel pain, I've realized now that I am thankful that I was able to be there. I got to be part of her album release, and that's really important. I know I'll be thankful for that in the future. 


So that's me.
Speaking Now. 


<3

speak now.

I am incredibly, indescribably happy in this moment.

Thank you so much to everyone who came on this journey with me.

In the coming days you'll find out my super secret adventure relating to the album, but you'll have to wait for that.

This is amazing. I can't stop smiling.

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
--Maya 

13!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously this is an exciting day.

There's only 13 days left until Speak Now.

And everyone knows 13 is Taylor's good luck charm.

So that's pretty darn exciting.

In other pretty darn exciting news, Back to December came out last night. 

It's absolutely beautiful.

And on top of that, it's incredibly personal, and shows a big change in Taylor in that she's apologizing in a song for the first time.

All of her breakup songs to date have been her blaming the other person, but not this time. 

This time she's laying all of it out there and apologizing for everything she did to this mysterious man.

Well actually, he's not so mysterious.

In case you haven't figured it out already, the subject of this wonderful song is none other than Jacob Black himself, Taylor Lautner. 

And I'm going to prove it.

(To avoid confusion, from now on Taylor Swift will be referred to as TS and Taylor Lautner as TL). 

1. The song is called Back to December, and generally says that TS wants to go "back to december" so she can change what happened. On TS's birthday, December 13th, TL flew to Nashville to celebrate with her. This scared TS (she has admitted commitment issues and problems with "running away from love" during her live webchat in mid-July) and she broke up with TL at or around her birthday party.

2. She refers to the subject's birthday passing and her not calling. TL's birthday is February 11th, just 2 months after hers, making it make sense both that the breakup would be too new for her to call, and it fits  in with the time scheme. 

3. "I think of that summer all the beautiful times"--"Valentine's Day", the movie they were both in, was filmed in the summer of 2009. This is where they met and was the start of their relationship. 

4. "I watched you laughin' from the passenger's side" (see photo above)

5. "Realized I loved you in the fall"--Their relationship lasted from near the end of the summer until December, so the fall would have been right in the middle of it. 

6. In an Us Weekly article (here: Us Weekly) they stated that TL felt he was putting more into the relationship than TS was and that "He liked her more than she liked him". This is echoed in the last few lines of the first verse: "'Cause the last time you saw me/Is still burned in the back of your mind/You gave me roses and I left them there to die". 

7. This may seem trivial, but TS states that she misses the subject's "tan skin". This may not seem important, but regard the photo lineup of TS's past and present boyfriends: 

(One of these things is not like the other...)

Sorry to end with the weird tan skin one, but those are my reasons that make me suspect that Mr. Lautner may be the subject of this song.
I love knowing this because it's like having an inside view on Taylor's life. There's something nice about reading a tabloid article and being able to absolutely know that what they're saying is not true.
The song is beautiful, honest, and wonderfully written as always. It's so brave of her to put all of this out there to the world knowing that some random girl like me can figure it out and suddenly have such a personal view on her life.
I can't wait to see if it makes a difference in TS's and TL's relationship.
I also can't wait to see it live. That will be amazing.

(Is it bad that I'm super proud of myself for this? Maybe a little)

That's all for today.

13 DAYS!

lovelovelove
--Maya 




P.S. Here is a picture that Taylor took of herself one morning before her hair and makeup were done:

 <3

20.

speak now is perfect.

<3

24!

Hi!

So there's only 24 days left. Can you believe it?

Because I can't.

At all.

AHHHHH SO EXCITED!

Speaking of AHHHHH SO EXCITED, on October 5th, which is Tuesday, the song Speak Now from the album is being released!

I absolutely cannot wait to hear it.

Taylor's also going to be releasing 2 other songs from the album in the weeks leading up to the release:

Back to December on October 12th

and

Mean on October 19th

I am so happy and excited that this whole process is starting again.

I can't wait for the album to be out and for Taylor to go on tour again.

This is my favorite time ever. 

<3

On that note, here is the "essay" I wrote for the Speak Now with Taylor Swift contest.

It had to be 40 words or less, and had to show them (her record label) why I should be the one to go with her to New York for the album release, and then to LA.

So, here it is:

it started (on august 4th) with a text. 

then came the jumping and screaming.

then 5 notes, a smile. 

the feeling that nothing could ever compare 

to this moment,

and the incomparable joy, the pure elation

for what’s to come.

It's about the day Mine came out early.

Truly one of the best days of my life.

Ok, I think that's all for now.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

lovelovelove

--Maya 

29!

It's down to the twenties.
Kindof unbelievable, right?
I mean, we're sort of in the home stretch.

This is really exciting.
I'm excited.
Can you tell?
Probably not.

Anyways, this post today is going to be a bit off topic.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.

It's just I have on particular thing on my mind, and it's all I can think to write about.
CMT is running a contest to meet Taylor.
But not just meet her.
If you win, you get to go to New York and go to her album release.
Then, you fly WITH HER to Los Angeles (as in on the same plane) and go to another of her events in there.
I honestly cannot imagine anything that would be a more amazing experience than this.

But here's the thing. It's an essay contest.
Now, this wouldn't be a problem, except for the word limit for this so-called "essay" is 40 words.
That's like 2.5 sentences.
How the heck am I supposed to express in 40 words that this trip would fulfill every single dream I've ever had?
I have no idea.
Oh, and I have 4 days to come up with something. (The deadline is October 1st)

So that's what's on my mind. I'm going to go try and write that essay now.

Talk to you soon.

lovelovelove
--Maya 

so. excited.

p.s.
this just blew my mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmrjli8hgH0

32.

I'M A TERRIBLE BLOGGER.

I'M SO SORRY.

I hate to make excuses, but here is what is going on.

I am in college, and I am taking lots of classes. Specifically, lots of science classes. And all of those science classes had tests this week.

So that is why my darling Speak Now Project has been so neglected.

BUT IN OTHER NEWS,

it's almost a month until Speak Now! AHHHHH!

This makes my heart happy.

I promise I'll do a real post soon.

I promise.

But now I have to go write up a chemistry lab.

Two more things:

1. Fearless just came on shuffle on my iPod. <3

2. This is the track list of what is soon to become my new favorite album:

1. Mine 

2. Sparks Fly 

3. Back to December 

4. Speak Now 

5. Dear John 

6. Mean 

7. The Story of Us 

8. Never Grow Up 

9. Enchanted 

10. Better Than Revenge 

11. Innocent 

12. Haunted 

13. Last Kiss 

14. Long Live

Yay.

Talk to you soon. I promise. Really.

lovelovelove

--Maya 

37.

I just watched Taylor's performance of "Innocent" again.

It made me cry.

lovelovelove

--Maya 

39!

We're into the 30s! Yay!

I was feeling tired and in the mood for comfy clothes today so I went with a Taylor-inspired cozy, comfortable outfit. I wore a flannel shirt because I know she loves those, some leggings, and some flat brown riding boots which I know are a big thing of hers right now.

I'm really, really sorry guys but I am just so tired tonight. I think I'm going to leave tonight's blog here.
Is that ok?
I hope it's ok.

I'll catch up with you tomorrow with an awesome, long, fun, and exciting blog.

Until then,

lovelovelove
--Maya 

40.

Good evening.

I'M SO BAD AT TAKING PICTURES OF MY OUTFITS.
I'm sorry.

Anyways, I went vintage-y again today with the high-waisted jeans and a tank top, jeans and a sweater. Today my sweater has sparkly flowers on it so that makes me feel Taylor-y :)

I seem to have listened to "Invisible" a few times today which is a song I (admittedly) sort of forgot about.
I KNOW I'M A BAD FAN.
But that's not the point.
The point is that it's an adorable, innocent, relateable, lovely song that I forgot about and was so pleased to rediscover today. In a day full of work and tiredness and general blahness it was a perfect pick-me-up :)
(Along with "Mine" which, as usual, made my uphill treks to and from class much more enjoyable than they would have been otherwise)

So I just spent some time reading Meet and Greet stories from the official Taylor forum and they made me want to meet her more than ever. I'm honestly not sure what I would do if I got the chance to meet her. It would probably be the best day of my entire life. There isn't much I wouldn't do to meet her. And so I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make that happen. (I'm in a really determined/inspired mood in case you didn't pick up on the blatant obviousness of that haha)

Speak Now is getting closer. I'm so incredibly excited. Is it weird I'm already getting excited to see her on tour again? Because I am already. This is going to be an amazing year.

(She's wearing my dress! :D)

lovelovelove
--Maya 


p.s. yes, i am fearless even in my pajamas. :)

41.

Hello once again everyone (or is it just me?)

There's 41 days left. Yay! (I know this doesn't seem like a huge deal but seeing as how 41 is less than 45 I feel that my celebration is justified.)

Today was Tuesday which meant it was Mayaonlyhastwoclasses day which means I could wear an adorable and slightly impractical Taylor-inspired outfit. Which I did.

The following dress and boots:

Oh and a hot pink cardigan to match :)

I had lots of fun today rocking out to "Mine" while I did my homework. Made it much more bearable somehow. Although not so bearable that I didn't take breaks to watch some of Taylor's old vlogs on Youtube. I love them, they're so funny and well made. 

Today my Pandora played "Breathe" and reminded me how much I love it. For quite a while it was my favorite song off of "Fearless". I like how it addresses the darker side of relationships, the heart-wrenching experience that is a one-sided breakup. I can't say I've ever experienced that, but I can say that I have no trouble relating to feeling like you can't breathe without that one person around, like if they're gone then so is your life. Sounds dramatic, I know, but it is, unfortunately, a relatively universal human feeling, I think. 

On a slightly cheerier note, I've made a decision. A few months ago Taylor had a 13 hour autograph signing in Nashville. Well, actually, a 14.5 hour signing, because she stayed until every single got the chance to meet her. And she gave them a free concert. 

After seeing the video of this I decided something: if she does one of these signings again, which she's said she plans to, if I have the time and the means, I'm going to go. I will drive to Nashville and sleep on the sidewalk and wait in a line for 10 hours. Because I honestly think it will be an amazing adventure. And to meet Taylor it would be absolutely worth it.

Until tomorrow,

lovelovelove

--Maya 

42.

First of all, apologies for missing yesterday. I spent the whole day in airports and on airplanes and in all that there was not much time for blogging.

Secondly, I'm making some amendments to the project. I'm realizing that the Youtube videos are a ton of work and coming up with challenges every day is a bit much for me on top of my schoolwork and everything else. I am definitely going to make more videos, however, just not every day like I had promised.

Ok. So I didn't have a chance to take a picture of my outfit today but I'll describe as best I can (in the most non-creepy way possible). Today I chose high-waisted jeans and a tank top with a cropped sweater. I was inspired by Taylor's theme for her performance on the VMAs last night--it was very 1940s glam, and so that was the look I tried to achieve.

I really loved hearing a new song of Taylor's and, contrary to most of the critics, I'm not seeing the song as an insult to Kanye. I think it was very brave of her to even perform a song about the event in the first place. She had to have known that she was going to get a reaction like this, and she still went ahead and wrote and performed the song at the VMAs. I don't see that as rude or selfish, I see it as courageous.
I do have to agree with the critics that her pitch wasn't amazing. I will be the first to admit, as I've said before, that she is not the most amazing live singer. But she is, however, one of the most amazing live performers that I've ever seen. And I do think that despite the quality of the vocals she did give a compelling performance.

Today "Mine" was my walking soundtrack to and from class, as it usually is. I find it tends to get me energized between classes and keeps my mood up when I have class after class after class.

My old(er) song for today is/was, maybe my all-time favorite Taylor song, "Fearless". I'm not even sure I can put into words what this song means to me. It's a perfect description of every perfect moment I've ever had, and every one I've ever wanted. It makes me feel beautiful and brave and like anything is possible.

I'm loving this project. See you (or maybe just me?) tomorrow.

lovelovelove
--Maya 

44.

hello again!
it's day 2 of the speak now project. yay!
so first things first: today's outfit...

I chose a fun sundress from American Eagle and flats from Steve Madden today because Taylor recently said (in her live chat announcing the Speak Now release) that her current favorite thing to wear is sundresses and flats. I also wore some flowers in my hair because, as you know, those are also one of her favorite things.
I've also been wearing my hair down and curly to try and add to the look. Once I get back to school and my curling iron I'll be doing more with my hair to make it more Taylor-y. :)

So today I listened to "Mine" on my walk into my town for an arts festival. It provided a lovely soundtrack for my long and somewhat tedious walk. Taylor's music can always perk me up and make my day better.

For today's previously released song I'm choosing "Today Was a Fairytale". Since this song came out it has been one of my absolute favorites. It just makes me feel like anything is possible, like fairytales can really happen in real life. Whenever I'm having a bad day I can always listen to this song and it just seems to make everything better.

Oh and by the way my computer is on a mission to kill me and therefore won't let me upload a Youtube video today. I did a challenge though, so I'll try to post it tomorrow.

If you think of any challenges I would really enjoy trying to do them. :)

Speak Now is getting closer and closer! I'm getting more and more excited every day!

Talk to you tomorrow!

lovelovelove
    --Maya-- 

45.

So, it's day 1 of The Speak Now Project.
I admit I didn't have a whole lot of time to come out with an outfit today, so this is what I've got:

I'm wearing a white t-shirt because white is Taylor's favorite color, and I've also got on a side headband with a gorgeous floral embellishment, an accessory that has become a signature of Taylor's.

I realize this is not the most creative of outfits, but I promise they'll get better.

So today I've listened to "Mine" three times already. This can be explained by the fact that I am home on a 4 day weekend from college and I had some serious TV to catch up on. Specifically the CMA Musicfest (where Taylor did an amazing performance of "Mine") and the NFL Season Opener last night where Taylor performed "Mine" again, although admittedly the performance wasn't as solid as it was at Musicfest.
Something I feel I should get clear on:
I am obviously a huge fan of Taylor's. That much I'm hoping is obvious. But what I'm not is deaf. I know that she's not the best vocalist in the world, and I know that sometimes she doesn't sound amazing in live performance. But what is amazing is her songwriting ability and performance skills. I know she's not perfect, and I love her all the more for it.
Ok, back to topic.
In terms of my promised previously released Taylor song, today it ended up being "You Belong with Me" as that was part of Taylor's performance at the NFL Season Opener concert. "You Belong with Me" has always been one of my favorites of Taylor's, especially because it's the opener of her concert and an adorable, relatable song.

I'm not sure there's anyone who hasn't felt this way at one time or another. Everyone always has that one friend that they inexplicably fall in love with, against all odds. I can easily say I've felt this before. And hearing Taylor's experience in the song, one that was so close to mine, made her seem to relatable and real to me.
So, that's what "You Belong with Me" means to me. What does it mean to you?

Thank you for bearing with me while I get back on my blogging feet. This is something I haven't done in a really long time, but I'm so passionate and excited about this that I'm throwing myself back into the fire that is blogging once again.
Keep you fingers crossed, everyone.



today's challenge video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1WQmgk0nAY
lovelovelove
   --Maya-- 

  --

so here's my idea

Hello there!
My name is Maya. I'm 19 years old and I live in Pennsylvania. For 3 years now Taylor Swift has been my favorite artist in the entire world.
After 2 years of waiting, her new album Speak Now is coming out October 25th of this year and I am unbelievably excited.
By the way, that is exactly 45 days from today. And in honor of this, I've decided to start a project.
Every day from now until October 25th I will do the following:
1. Wear a Taylor Swift-inspired outfit (which I will post a picture of)
2. Listen to at least one of any of Taylor's previously released songs and in my daily blog post talk about this song what it means to me
3. Listen to her new single Mine
4. Complete a challenge related both to Taylor and the number of days left before Speak Now comes out. I will make Youtube videos of these challenges and post them for all to enjoy (www.youtube.com/mayaellaful
5. Keep a running countdown on my Twitter (mayaella15)
6. Blog at least once a day every day until October 25th about my challenges, outfits, listening experiences, and everything and anything else related to Taylor and Speak Now

I'm so excited to get this started and go on this amazing adventure for the next 45 days!

lovelovelove

   -Maya-